Three Happiness Factors

When you think of being happy, you probably think about external factors in your life, such as having a comfortable place to live, money to fund your lifestyle, and more.  While those things can certainly contribute to a greater sense of well-being and contentment, they rarely create happiness on their own.

Rather, genuine happiness is usually the result of less tangible factors.  Below you’ll find three of the major factors that can help you to create a life of true joy and happiness, regardless of the state of your outer circumstances:

• Purpose

A seemingly aimless existence often leads to an increased sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction in all areas of your life.  On the other hand, when you believe that your life has purpose and meaning, you automatically experience greater focus, vitality and happiness.  Your life purpose doesn’t have to be a major “calling” like becoming a nun or missionary; you can find purpose in any kind of situation!  Make it your purpose to have a fulfilling career in any field, or set a benchmark of achievement for your children to exceed someday.  Choose a cause that is important to you and devote your life to supporting it.  Ultimately it doesn’t matter what purpose you choose for your life; just that it’s important to you.

• Self-love

True happiness and contentment must be accompanied by genuine self-love.  When you truly love and respect yourself, everything seems to run more smoothly in your life.  You get along better with others, you feel stronger and more balanced, and you don’t tend to take challenges so personally.  Rather than seeking love and acceptance from others, give it to yourself!  Speak kindly to yourself and build yourself up as often as you can.  The more you do, the happier you’ll feel.

• Confidence

Confidence makes you feel more in control of your life, which cannot help but make you feel happier too.  Not only are you better able to stand up for yourself and avoid being taken advantage of; confidence also helps you to believe in yourself and your capabilities, which gives you the power and determination to create a truly happy and fulfilling life.

There are other factors that contribute to greater happiness, but these three are probably the most pervasive.  Simply by fostering these three qualities in yourself and your life, you’ll begin to shift toward a more purposeful, gentle, fulfilling and empowering existence.

The Happiness Attitude

When it comes to feeling happy and content, your attitude plays an important role.  A negative attitude keeps you focused on the negative side of your situation.  You spend more time thinking about what you don’t have; the opportunities you missed out on, the terrible things that have happened to you in the past, and the awful things that might happen to you in the future.

At the opposite end of the spectrum is the “Happiness Attitude,” which is slightly different than a mere positive attitude!  A positive attitude is certainly a good place to start because it helps you to feel better and think more positively overall, but the Happiness Attitude also includes a concrete decision to live your life from a focus of happiness and joy – which can elevate your attitude to a whole new level!

If you’re ready to adopt a genuine Happiness Attitude in your own life, read on for some easy ways to do it:

• Appreciation

The Happiness Attitude requires an ongoing commitment to appreciation and gratitude in every moment.  Not only should you appreciate the bigger stuff like your family, home, job, friends, and health, but also the smaller blessings like getting a good deal on a new pair of shoes, receiving a compliment, or even catching a glimpse of a beautiful bird outside your window. 

• Optimism

Optimism is a huge component of the Happiness Attitude because it requires a conscious decision to expect the best, no matter what!  Rather than obsessing and worrying about the negatives, you’ll commit to giving most of your attention to the great things coming your way.

• Confidence

Feeling unsure of yourself or your capabilities contributes to a negative attitude – and is the direct opposite of the Happiness Attitude.  By building your confidence and affirming your capabilities to do anything you desire, you’ll feel strong, powerful and more in control of your overall happiness.

• Trust

A Happiness Attitude means also trusting yourself to make the right decisions that will create greater happiness and fulfillment in your life.  These decisions may not always be easy, but by choosing to believe in yourself and trust your inner vision, you play an active part in creating the life circumstances that will make you happiest.

• Flexibility

A rigid mind-set often fosters stagnation and negativity, which detracts from your happiness.  A Happiness Attitude, on the other hand, encourages greater flexibility and resourcefulness, which aids you in overcoming obstacles and facing challenges.

• Balance

A negative attitude can make you feel like you have to work excessively hard to get ahead, which only leads to stress and burnout.  With a genuine Happiness Attitude, you’ll find it easy to balance all aspects of your life and create a genuine sense of happiness and fulfillment.

Simplicity and Happiness

In our ongoing quest for happiness and contentment, we often find ourselves accumulating ever increasing piles of “stuff.”  However, the more “stuff” we accumulate, the more we begin to realize that we don’t feel happier at all; we feel overwhelmed, crowded and scattered.

How easy it is to forget that when it comes to happiness, simplicity is key!  Even though we know on some level that all this stuff won’t make us happy, we still keep getting pulled in by clever marketing and our own constant yearning for something more.

But what if the “something more” we crave is not more “stuff” but rather simplicity and order?  What if, by simplifying our lives we could finally enjoy a deeper sense of freedom, peace and happiness?

If you’re ready to stop living under the hypnotic spell of “more stuff,” here are three easy ways to begin simplifying your life and enjoying a happier, more peaceful way of life:

1) Clear out your home, vehicle and workspace.

Are you surrounded by stacks of books you’ve already read, DVDs or videos you’ve seen dozens of times and miscellaneous clutter covering every available surface? Is your vehicle a catch basin for trash and belongings you haven’t put away?  Is your workspace crowded with old paperwork?  Clear it all out!  When you start clearing out your surroundings, you’ll notice immediately that you feel lighter and less scattered.

2) Clear your mind.

Are you constantly burdened by worrisome or negative thoughts?  A chaotic life can increase anxiety and stress, which can make you feel scattered and forgetful. Begin a daily practice of clearing your mind through meditation.  Set aside 10 minutes once or twice a day to let go of anxious thoughts and focus on nothing.  Sit in silence or listen to soothing music, but focus only on your breathing and being in the moment.  Doing this on a regular basis will help you feel more centered, calm and focused.

3) Achieve closure.

Do you have a lot of unresolved issues, unpaid bills or otherwise unfinished projects?  When did you last file away old paperwork or kiss a bad habit goodbye?  When we leave things unfinished in our lives, we tend to carry them with us mentally and emotionally until we “officially” release them.  Over time, you’ll feel the weight of these situations if you don’t resolve them once and for all.  Start by thinking about your old relationships.  Have you left things unsaid?  Have you refused to let go of someone emotionally even if you have moved on physically?  Write a letter and tell those people everything you want them to know.  You don’t have to mail the letter so you can easily use the process for people you no longer see or even those who are deceased.  Simply write out your thoughts and feelings on the matter, then either burn the paper or rip it into shreds and throw it away.  As you do so, affirm that you are releasing the situation once and for all, and you are now free from any lingering emotional or mental burdens regarding it.

Also be sure to achieve closure on everything else that you can, like canceling old memberships or subscriptions you no longer need, filing away paperwork that is no longer needed, and completing projects you’ve started.  With closure comes peace, and with peace usually comes greater happiness!

Lighthearted Happiness

Are you yearning for a greater sense of happiness in your life but feel weighed down by problems?  If so, try adopting an attitude of lightheartedness and watch how quickly it can inject an element of fun and whimsy into your life.

Here are three simple ways to do it:

1) Play.

Most of us tend to take life so seriously.  Sure, life can definitely be serious at times, and there are certainly things that we should take seriously – but we also don’t need to be so serious ALL the time!  Instead, try your best to have more fun as often as you can.  Either spend time doing things you enjoy, or simply make your regular activities more fun.  Not sure that your regular activities can be fun?  Nearly any task or chore can be lightened up a bit – even mundane chores around the house.  Take, for example, house work or yard work.  Who says you have to grudgingly perform those tasks?  Why not put on some funky music and dance around while you do them?  Why not listen to a stand-up comedy routine on CD and laugh while you do them?  All it takes is a shift in perspective to make something fun and lighthearted.

2) Get inspired.

If you’re used to directing most of your focus toward lack or negativity, it can be helpful to start lifting your perspective to a higher place.  One way to do that is to purposely concentrate on things that inspire you.  You can read uplifting books or watch inspirational movies; or even buy a book of motivational quotes and read a few each day.  You can also choose to be inspired by the things you see in your daily travels.  For example, rather than rushing distractedly to and from appointments, take a few minutes to pause and gaze around.  Notice how the sunshine plays on the trees and flowers, making them glow with beauty.  Rather than getting annoyed at your children when they play with their dinner, marvel at their creativity and sense of humor.  Take a walk during your lunch hour and breathe deeply of the fresh air, smile at strangers and make an effort to remember what a miracle life is.  No matter how you do it, let your heart and mind soar to a place of joy and inspiration, and you’ll automatically feel more lighthearted, and happy!

3) Unload your worries.

It’s difficult to feel lighthearted and happy when you’re besieged by stress and worry.  Rather than carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders (or in your heart), write your problems and worries on a sheet of paper and place it in a box or drawer.  Affirm that for the next few hours, you’re not going to think about those things.  Then shift your attention to things that make you feel better, like spending time with loved ones or engaging in favorite hobbies.  When worrisome thoughts pop back into your mind, firmly set them aside again and remind yourself that you’re not going to focus on them right now.  It may sound overly simple but it really works!  With enough practice you eventually reach a point of knowing that worrying and obsessing isn’t helping matters, so you decide not to do it for awhile – and you instantly feel more lighthearted and happy.

When it comes right down to it, feeling happy is a choice you make from moment to moment.  Happiness won’t make all of your challenges vanish, but choosing to focus more on the lighter side of life can definitely make you feel better – and who knows, it might even give you the mental and emotional distance you need to come up with creative solutions that you would have missed if you’d been too busy worrying!

Happiness in Giving

There are many ways to create a greater sense of happiness in your life, but one of the simplest and most powerful is by giving to others.  Why does giving to others make you feel happier?

• You minimize your own troubles.

Focusing on what you can do for people in need is a great way to put your own problems into perspective.  By nature we tend to magnify our own problems and think they’re much worse than they really are – but encountering someone who is experiencing even greater challenges sure changes that outlook quickly!  It’s not that your own problems vanish just because you see someone who’s worse off than you are, but rather you gain a bit more perspective and realize that your struggles could be much worse than they are.

• You focus more on abundance.

When you give to others, you automatically switch your focus from lack to abundance – even if you’re not giving financially!  Focusing more on your problems and difficulties can’t help but result in a keen awareness of lack, but by giving of yourself to those in need you are essentially affirming that you have “more than enough” – which will translate into all areas of your life as a focus on abundance.

• Blessing others just feels good!

It doesn’t matter if you’re making a financial donation or sharing your time or other resources – it just feels good to help others.  That feeling also grows when you make giving a regular habit, regardless of the size of the contributions.  The more you do for others, the better you’ll feel about yourself.  If you want to enhance that good feeling even further, give anonymously.  You’ll be blessing others without expecting to receive anything in return; and instead allow giving to be its own reward – which makes the reward that much sweeter!

You may feel that you don’t have anything to give to others right now – and this is especially true if you’re experiencing serious financial troubles or other lack.  However, giving in ANY way can immediately make you feel happier and more abundant!

Become a mentor for children or young adults.  Do you have specialized skills or training?  Donate your expertise to a non-profit organization for a few hours a week.  Are you good at making others laugh and feel good?  Volunteer at a hospital or elderly care facility.  There are endless ways to reach out to others, and only a few of them involve money.

If you truly have nothing else to give, become a “goodwill ambassador” and make it your mission to go around spreading kind words and support to the people you meet each day.  When you notice that a public servant is having a bad day, say something to make them smile.  Compliment your co-workers.  Express your appreciation to a police officer, firefighter or soldier.  Tip your waiter, hair stylist and cab driver generously, or leave a handwritten note thanking them for the excellent service. 

These are all such small gestures – but they have a huge impact, both on the one who receives and the one who gives.

Happiness and Spirituality

When you’re striving to create a greater sense of happiness in your life, paying attention to your spiritual practice may be beneficial because it’s often been purported that spiritual people are generally happier than people without a defined spiritual practice.  You may find that hard to believe if you don’t consider yourself to be a spiritual person, but take a peek at some of the benefits of a spiritual practice below and then consider whether they might contribute to a greater sense of happiness in your own life too:

1) Universal guidance and support.  Let’s face it; life’s trials and challenges can often leave you feeling battered and alone.  A strong belief that you’re being guided and supported by universal forces can help you feel stronger and better able to cope with difficulties and disappointments.

2) Purpose and meaning.  Belief in an afterlife may make you feel happier and more secure because you’ll know that your trials and tribulations aren’t without meaning or purpose.  Knowing that you’ll go on from here to a better place may provide a measure of comfort and hope to sustain you through difficult times.

3) Deeper connection to others.  It’s easy to perceive yourself as being separate and distinct from other people, which can result in a sense of isolation and disconnection.  However, with a spiritual foundation comes a greater awareness of your interconnectedness with everyone and everything around you.  This awareness can help you feel more connected even if it doesn’t show up in obvious ways in your outer circumstances. 

4) Seeing the bigger picture.  Spiritual beliefs can give you an expanded view of life that you wouldn’t otherwise have.  Rather than seeing only the physical characteristics of people and the world itself, you realize that there is more to life than just the physical things you can see and touch.

5) Deeper inner connection.  Lack of spiritual beliefs can often make you feel like your life is empty and meaningless, while a strong spiritual foundation can help you see that there is a deeper part of you.  You might call this your soul, spirit, essence or divinity, but the name doesn’t matter as much as the realization that this part of you is timeless, infinite and wise – which helps you feel like “more” than you would as a limited physical person.

There are many more benefits to be gained from a spiritual practice, but only you can say whether such a practice would help you to feel happier in your everyday life.

It’s important to note that spirituality and religion are two distinct practices.  You may feel resistant to spiritual practices because of negative religious experiences when you were younger, but a spiritual practice can be quite different and pleasing.  For example, taking walks in nature could be considered a spiritual practice.  Sitting quietly and journaling your deepest thoughts and feelings could be considered a spiritual practice too.

If you like the idea of a deeper life experience that contributes to greater overall happiness, choose a spiritual practice that interests and inspires you – whether it involves religion or not.  Simply follow your heart to the right type of spiritual expression for you, and you won’t be able to help feeling more centered, fulfilled – and happy!

Gratitude and Happiness

A daily practice of gratitude can help keep you feeling happy more often, simply because gratitude smoothes the rough edges in your life and keeps you focused on the good stuff, rather than obsessing about things that might detract from your sense of happiness.

Below you’ll find three simple ways to use gratitude to be happier every day:

1) Be grateful for the blessings you have now.  Obviously, focusing on the positive aspects of your circumstances helps you feel happy and content but it’s very easy to slip into a negative focus and see only problems and obstacles.  Make it a habit to consciously focus on the good stuff as often as possible.  You can keep a written gratitude journal, or simply recite a mental list of things to be grateful for each night before you go to sleep.  If you’re dealing with a lot of problems or upsets in your life right now, you may not think you have much to be grateful for, but even the small things can make you feel more fortunate.  Give thanks for the people in your life, beloved pets, your health, freedom and more.  Take nothing for granted, and you’ll soon realize just how blessed you are.

2) Be grateful and optimistic about the good things on their way to you.  One reason you may feel dissatisfied with your life is because you believe it will always be this way.  However, just because you can’t see any way to improve your circumstances now doesn’t mean that miracles can’t show up later.  Instead of getting mired in pessimism and doubt, affirm and know that the things you want are on the way.  Give thanks for these things as if you know with absolute certainty that they will be yours.  The more you do this, the happier you’ll feel – and that happiness will continue to grow as your circumstances improve.

3) Make mountains out of molehills.  Have you ever made a big deal over a minor problem and blown it all out of proportion?  Most of us have.  While that’s typically a bad thing to do, you can turn it around and make it a GOOD thing.  Make a huge deal out of every tiny blessing and good thing that happens to you.  Did you win $5.00 on an instant scratch ticket?  Whoop and holler about it (even if only mentally)!  Allow yourself to be overcome with the same amount of gratitude you’d feel if you won $50,000.00.  When someone pays you a compliment, allow yourself to feel wonderful about it.  When anything good happens, mentally turn it into a GREAT experience.

You may notice that these gratitude exercises have one common theme:  they are all about PERCEPTION.  In every situation there are positives and negatives, and your mood and mind-set are very much the result of what you choose to focus on the most.  Choose pessimism and lack, and you’ll feel miserable.  Choose gratitude and joy, and you’ll feel happy! 

 

Don’t Worry, Be Happy!

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by worry, you know how difficult it is to feel happy at the same time.  Worry and happiness are by nature complete opposites; they cannot co-exist.  When you worry, you’re focusing more on the negative side of a situation – wondering what might happen that will challenge your ability to cope, or otherwise dreading negative events.  When you’re happy, you’re not focusing on the negative side but rather affirming all that’s good in your life.

The problem that many people face is figuring out how to minimize worry and spend more time feeling happy.  Below you’ll find five easy ways to transform worry into a genuine state of happiness:

1) Find something to laugh about.

Laughter automatically relaxes you and makes you feel less anxious.  Turn on the television and watch a funny sitcom for a half hour, or pop a comedy film into the DVD player and have yourself a good belly laugh.  If you’re not at home or the television isn’t available, simply play a funny movie in your mind!  Think about a memory from the past that made you laugh and relive it again.  Or buy some good joke books and keep them handy for the next time you need some lighthearted fun.

2) Dance.

It’s hard to feel uptight and anxious when you’re boogieing to the beat of some great music!  If you’re feeling adventurous, you can even try out some new dance moves and allow yourself to get silly.  Grab a hairbrush and sing into the handle.  Put a lampshade on your head.  Don’t worry about what other people think; if it makes you feel good you’re on the right track!

3) Clean house.

There are two ways that cleaning can ease worry and anxiety:  First, the physical activity itself can provide an excellent outlet for tension.  As you scrub, mop, vacuum, dust and neaten your surroundings, you purge the tension from your mind and body and focus your full attention on the tasks at hand – which helps you disconnect from worrisome thoughts.  Secondly, when you’re finished cleaning you can sit back and enjoy a much calmer, cleaner and harmonious environment, which automatically helps you feel more relaxed and happy.

4) Make an investment in cheer.

Gazing at something cheerful and uplifting can ease anxiety and worry too!  Buy a bouquet of flowers for your home or workspace, or purchase some soothing artwork to hang on the walls.  Even a wall calendar with soothing or cheerful pictures can provide a positive focus and help ease worry.

5) Stimulate your senses.

Besides looking at cheerful or soothing surroundings, you may want to stimulate your other senses too.  Try baking something delicious and allowing the scents of vanilla, cinnamon, or nutmeg to fill your home with warmth and comfort.  Put on your favorite comfy clothes and curl up with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate.  Enjoy a warm, scented bubble bath or buy a set of soft flannel sheets for your bed.

Ultimately it doesn’t matter what you do to ease worry, as long as you’re doing something that comforts or uplifts you and helps you to focus on happier thoughts.  When you do this, you automatically blot out worry and shift immediately into a happier state of mind.

Balanced Happiness

When striving to create a greater sense of happiness in your life, the power of living a balanced life should not be overlooked.  An unbalanced, chaotic lifestyle is one sure way to create stress, fear and dissatisfaction in all areas of your life, and ultimately contribute to an overwhelming sense of unhappiness.

Nowadays we are busier than ever, so creating a balanced life may seem difficult to do.  However, understand that a balanced life is not about perfection but rather flexibility.

Not only should you focus on minimizing chaotic situations; there are also certain activities that should become top priorities if you want to live a more balanced life:

1) Self-care.

Caring properly for yourself through regular exercise, proper nutrition and adequate rest is crucial to living a balanced life.  Sadly, this is one of the first things we tend to neglect when we become busy and stressed – but it’s the one thing we need more than anything else at that time!  The more you try to push yourself to do and be more, the more stressed and fatigued you’re going to feel.  Regular self-care can go a long way in repairing the stress your mind and body suffer from a busy lifestyle.

2) Personal time.

If you spend much of your time caring for others and meeting endless obligations, you probably don’t spend much time doing things you love.  Unfortunately, a life filled with nothing but responsibilities can easily make you feel frustrated and unhappy.  Make personal time for yourself a high priority and you’ll instantly find yourself feeling much calmer and happier.  Large amounts of time aren’t necessary; a few hours a week can work wonders in fostering greater peace of mind and a happy heart.

3) Meaningful connections.

The more distractions we have in our lives, the more challenging it seems to connect meaningfully with those we love.  Do you make quality family time a priority?  How about spending time with friends?  Have you forgotten how long it’s been since you spoke meaningfully with someone you care about?  In order to feel truly balanced and happy, you need to give time and attention to the people you care about.  Once again, it doesn’t have to be large amounts of time, but make an effort to touch base and spend some quality time with friends and loved ones on a regular basis.

4) Inner connections.

Having some kind of spiritual practice can instantly make you feel more balanced because you strengthen the connections to your inner self and a power greater than yourself.  Make it a priority to attend church, meditate, pray, or simply spend time in nature and foster deeper connections with your spiritual side.  By doing so you open to a constant flow of peace and joy from within, which helps foster a greater sense of happiness in all areas of your life.

5) Setting limits.

Knowing when to say “enough is enough” can go a long way in helping you to balance your life.  Limits are necessary in all areas of your life, but here are a few of the major ones:  Avoid working too many hours, eating too much, drinking too much, spending excessive time watching television or surfing the internet.  This is especially important if you find that these activities are interfering with other areas of your life, such as your self-care regime or quality time in your relationships.

Balancing your life may take time if things have gotten far out of control, but remember that even small actions can make a profound difference in helping you feel more centered – and happy!

 

Are You Choosing Happiness?

When you think of being happy with your life, you probably imagine specific circumstances that will make you feel content and satisfied.  You might see yourself with a better job, more money, a committed relationship, or any number of other possibilities.  But do those things guarantee happiness?

You can probably think of people who already have the very things you want, yet they don’t seem happy at all.  They may have plenty of money, but experience serious relationship problems.  They may have a thriving career but struggle with health issues.

Logically you know that money, prestige and outer “stuff” cannot make you happy, but you may still hold a mental image of what happiness looks like – which probably doesn’t match the way your life is today.

You may be surprised to learn that being happy is not a result of anything that happens around you or to you, but rather making a simple choice to be happy.  That may sound like a catch-22 because it seems impossible to feel happy when you’re dissatisfied with your life as it is right now.  However, you don’t have to be completely satisfied with every aspect of your life in order to feel happy.

Happiness is a state of mind.  It’s a willingness to focus more on the positive aspects of your life and minimize the negative.

When you feel unhappy, you are focusing most of your attention on lack.  You’re thinking about the parts of your life that aren’t working as you’d prefer such as stress from your job, financial difficulties, car trouble, relationship conflicts, and so on.

When you decide to be happy right now – regardless of anything you still want to change in your life – you immediately shift into a mind-set of abundance and joy.  You’re better able to make the most of your job, juggle financial commitments, communicate better with others, and generally see the brighter side of most situations.  You begin choosing to feel good rather than obsessing about the things that have the potential to make you feel bad.

Perhaps you’ve tried to feel happy despite difficult circumstances but weren’t able to maintain the positive feelings?  Understand that happiness is a choice you have to make in every moment.  Choosing it once will last only as long as outer circumstances don’t contradict your intention.  When something negative or challenging happens, you’ll find yourself at a crossroads again!  Do you shift your focus away from the negatives and back to the positives again, or do you allow yourself to be swept down the road of dissatisfaction?

Remember that there will always be negative things you can focus on – no matter how wonderful your life becomes.  There will always be challenges and obstacles that can potentially threaten your outlook in life.  But there will also always be great things you can focus on.

When you finally understand that you have the power to choose what you give most of your attention to, the positives will quickly outweigh the negatives and you’ll find yourself experiencing a greater sense of happiness much of the time.